The Romance of Snow

I normally try to avoid self indulgent blogs. The ones that are used for people to spout their ego and show how great they are. I say this, but I am quite guilty of it. Anyone who read my xanga or my myspace, blogspot, or my facebook notes would know that not too long ago I was willing to do it. In the last year I tried to shift my blogging to something more educational.  Last night, however, it snowed. It has continued to snow.  I blame the snow for what follows. Read for entertainment, I hope you laugh at me or smile with me as I recount the Romance of snow.

My goal today was to start and finish a 5 page ethics paper, but as I saw the snow and heard the sleet I could not help myself. I needed to get outside. I got my big coat and my snow pants on, found my scarf, gloves, and my hat from Russia and went outside.  Oh I love snow.

  I do not know when my infatuation with snow began. As a child I loved the stuff. Its so beautiful and fun. I remember running to the Church in snow. One year it snowed and then iced on top. I was so light that I could walk on top of 4 inches of snow. I remember almost getting stuck between the Church and the parsonage. One day my dad had to take his shoes off so that he could get some grip. It wasn’t a long walk, so it wasn’t terrible. Snow was just fun.

My mom used to tell me about the 3 feet of snow they got in Michigan. I have always wanted to walk through snow like that.

As I marched up the street I realized that Addidas cross trainers really don’t work as well as my old boots. (dad threw them away). As I looked down the slush covered street I found myself back in Russia walking to the bus stop. The roads look just the same, and someone’s fireplace burning wood brought back the banya. So I kept walking.

I turned a corner and a car slowly drove by as if on cotton smushing the snow as it went. 

When I came to a hill I became lonely. This wasn’t the pathetic loneliness that sometimes occurs, but the nostalgic loneliness that remembers good times and wishes them to appear again. It’s not one of desperation, but one of fondness. One where I thought, “I am glad to be here, and I wouldn’t be here otherwise, but that sure was nice. Sigh” I think we have those. The moments of vulnerability that few of us are really willing to admit happen.

The “that” which brought this moment was remembering my little Russian romance. While studying there I met this incredible girl. She was fun, intelligent, athletic, happy, quirky, and joyful. Everyone had to walk through the snow, it was a Russian winter. We choose to walk through it. We would walk to this overlook. Behind us was upper Nizhni with the university and businesses. Below was the Oka river and factories. We would stand and talk there for hours. One evening we walked out as it snowed. There was already about a foot of snow on the ground, but more huge flakes kept coming. As we walked the clouds separated and the full moon came out to embrace us. It bounced off the snow and the city lights dimmed for they knew that was the appropriate thing to do. We sat on a bench in silence. Then we joked about ridiculous things. At one point she confessed to me, “One day when I’m married I want to have sex in the snow.”

“Weirdo! Ok actually that might be kinda cool.”

Sure it wasn’t an appropriate conversation, but two twenty year old Christian virgins are probably more obsessed with sex than most other people. Its this forbidden fruit we were taught to fear, something magical that would corrupt us to the core if we were to “do it” before marriage. Yet within the confines of marriage it was treated as the pinnacle of life. With hormones raging on a moonlit snowy night why wouldn’t we think of sex? I wish I were strong enough to say that the media has no influence upon young people, but I am pretty sure these emotions were the result of having seen too many Romantic Comedies. I may have also been listening to too much Dashboard Confessional also. I think I did start singing, “My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. So won’t you kill me, so I die happy.  My heart is yours to fill or burst to break or bury or wear as jewelry which ever you prefer.” So really I didn’t sing it out loud, but the song was going through my head.  

We started a snowball fight. She got me good with a shot to the eye. I faked being hurt so that she would come close. As she inspected it I stole a kiss. It was one of those kisses that electrocutes someone. She was a bit stunned not knowing if she should kiss back or be repulsed. A snow ball ended the brief pause and our playfulness resumed. She fell into a snowbank and couldn’t get up. I grabbed her hand which she used to pull me in with her. We found ourselves embraced by each other and the snow.  As we kissed  I thought, “hands down this is the best thing I could ever remember…” Yes I know that was lame, but it’s true. 

Our romance was quite chaotic, but that is ok with me. She is now married and I hope happy.  Regardless of what happened to us, that was probably one of the best kisses in my life. Snow makes me romantic. I smiled as I strolled through the snow wishing that I could relive that wonderful night. The emotion is fleeting, but fun to remember.

The clouds opened on my walk and it started snowing once again. As it melted getting my feet wet I was reminded of yet another short romance.

It was December and up until that point it had been warm. One night the sky decided that large snowflakes were in order. I called up a friend and asked if she wanted to go for a drive in the snow.

I picked her up and found the nearest country road. Since it had been warm the roads were clear, but the sky was not. We were both exited about the first snowfall of the year. What a great occasion. I turned on the brights and she let some of her nerd out. “So this is dorky, but you know in Star wars when they go really really fast? That’s what this looks like. “

“Warp speed?” I grinned. “yeah it does, its pretty awesome.”

We got out from town a ways and decided that we wanted to walk in it. Being the genius that I often am,  I told her I couldn’t be out for long because I was wearing flip flops. We pulled off at one of the hunting area’s stopped the car and got out. As we walked down a trail to a creek we both started to get cold. I teased her about throwing her in, “as long as you rescue me, I’m ok with that.”

“What a flirt, she totally wants me.”

We walked back because my toes were close to falling off. Then she twirled, jumped into my arms and gave me a big kiss.

“what was that for, aren’t you talking to that guy in California”

“Shoot! Yes, but… I was just excited. Snow makes me this way.”

“Such a tease, that’s all you are.”

“I’m sorry”

“No its fine, tease, just know you owe me one for keeping this silent.”

Nothing came of that night either. We never dated, but I have always had a fun story to tease her about. She may actually read this and get embarrassed, but I thought it was a great night.  Once again snow is romantic.

When I came across some children walking with their sled my mind rushed to Switzerland.

Alex and I didn’t sled in Switzerland, but we did get to play in the snow. I watched him as he snowboarded. One day I convinced Alex and Richard to go for a hike with me in the snow. They took a picture of me with Engelberg in the background. Still one of my favorite pictures.  

One week we had about a foot of snow. Alex wanted to be a great goalkeeper, and he knew that I had played in college. The two of us shoveled the snow from his yard into two large piles. Then I would toss him the ball as he jumped into them. I gave him a few tips which he really wasn’t interested in. I am pretty sure he wanted an excuse to jump into piles of snow. I don’t blame him as I got a go as well. The more we “practiced” the more fun we had. As he jumped into the snow, the snow became packed and slowly turned into ice. Eventually he was jumping onto large ice blocks. I’m not supposed to enjoy a child hurting himself, but this was great. Alex had been a butt for almost the entire time I worked there.  He was too smart for his own good and a bit of a troublemaker. While my evil side enjoyed him starting to hurt himself, I eventually stopped him. “Ok” time to stop. We went inside and drank hot tea.

Before you start thinking me a pedophile, this I would not call this romantic. It adds to the story, however, because it reminds me of the girl I met in Switzerland.

I actually met her in Starbucks. My second or third weekend in Switzerland I decided to go see a movie in Luzern. The theatre was fairly close to the train station and they had some English movies playing. I don’t even remember what I went to saw, the whole thing was basically an excuse to get out. I stopped by starbucks and got a Chai latte. (they taste about the same there as here incase you were wondering). This incredibly attractive brunette asked me what I wanted. When she realized I wasn’t Swiss (European or Asian for that matter… Luzern is a tourist town and lots of Japanese people vacation there) she asked me where I was from. I told her and we made some small talk. She had more customers so I went to the patio and found my place in War and peace.

Ten minutes later she came outside saying, “Guess what you get to do!”

I was confused, but she was hot and hilarious. What straight guy is gonna complain about some gorgeous girl gregariously engaging them in conversation? I smiled and asked, “What?”

“Help me with my English.” She was trying to figure out the difference between “could,” “should,” and “would.” I tried my best to explain, not for the sake of making the English grammar system intelligible, but because I wanted to keep talking to her. Her brake ended short thereafter, and I went to the movie.

After the action flick, (one of the few times I’ve braved the theatre alone) I had an hour to kill. Knowing nowhere else to go, I got another chai. She was still working. Wonderful! We flirted a bit more, and I got her number. I love it when girls offer their numbers. It’s usually a good sign (not always as recent experience tells me… that’s a story for a different time). For the next few months She and I would meet up. They were always fun times. She was one of those girls that could make me grin ear to ear. I constantly had one of those goofy smiles, but nothing ever came of it. I tried to date her, but she wasn’t keen on the international part of a potential relationship. When I decided to quit the au pair job I tried to find a way to stay, mostly because of her.

That fell through and it is probably for the better. We remain friends, and she still makes me smile, but we know that we will only ever be good friends.

Snow makes me romantic. I only have good associations. I could tell more like the time I drove through a snowstorm to meet a girl for new years eve, or the time that my car got stuck while visiting her. I have lots of associations, and I think it makes others romantic as well.  On my walk I have seen couples walking their dog. I saw another with their cross country skiis out. Yet another couple was simply holding hands in the snow.  I have been writing this in bean traders and couple after couple has been walking in and buying coffee.

Even though it can be annoying, we love snow. It forces us to take a bit of a break. It causes extra work, but a forced day off is never a bad thing. I avoided my paper and thought about my past relationships.  If you have someone special, I hope you enjoyed the snow with them. If not, I hope you found a way to celebrate the snow. I recommend a lonely walk, not one of regrets, but one of nostalgia. Enjoy the snow.